i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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