K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
