i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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