when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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