they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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