Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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