I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
