i wish my penis had a tongue
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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