Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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