After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
