see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
