I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
