Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
