my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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