I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
