Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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