The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
