yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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