Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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