he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
