I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
