I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.