"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
