singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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