It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
