in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
