I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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