i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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