you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
