Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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