I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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