You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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