I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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