they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So squirting runs in the family.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
