Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
