on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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