Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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