I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
