she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
