never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
