That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
