yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
