Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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