So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
