She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
