he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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