I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
