I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
