We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
