My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
