In the future we'll all be gay
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
