Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize