You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
