We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Terrible idea I love it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
