Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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