Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
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