he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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