jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
