It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
