I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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