So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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