Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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