you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
