whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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