Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Randomize
